Well, somehow we've made it to December 2009. In Berlin right now, and for the last few days, it's snowing, it's freezing cold, and I'm sure the Christmas markets are doing a roaring trade in Glühwein and roasted almonds. Usually I would have been to at least six or seven by now, but this year's a little different. I haven't been to any yet (just haven't had time!), with the exception of the one in Edinburgh, which for a German-style Christmas market in the capital of Scotland, it wasn't half bad, if a little pricey. 3pound for a pretzel? Honestly.
Christmas this year is a little different than most though. Christmas to me means family, but Christmas 2009 will be the first Christmas that I won't be spending with a family - as in, a group of blood relatives, either mine, or someone else's. If I can, I spend Christmas with my family in Melbourne - with my mum's and my dad's families. It's chaos and insanity and madness and hilarity all in one wonderful, magical day, and I love every single moment of it with both halves of my family. Christmas 2008 was a special Christmas, and one that I will never forget. I knew at the time that it was probably the last time my mum's family as I knew it would be together, and that's what made it just that bit more special, and just a little bit more difficult to leave afterwards.
If I'm not in Australia for Christmas, I'm in Germany, my second home. Usually, I spend Christmas in Germany with a family who welcomes me into their fold for the holidays. This year though, my family of choice is a group of truly great people; some of my fellow "broken toys" - other expats who for whatever reason aren't going to their home country for Christmas, so I'm spending Christmas 2009 with my Berlin mates.
Aside from Christmas, the other theme for this email is 2009 in general, and what a crazed year it has been. It's no secret that I'm glad it's over - it's been a bit of a tough one, for a few reasons. The bushfires at home in Australia, visa dramas over here, and various other issues. The most difficult for me was the sudden trip home to Australia for the funeral of my beloved Pa - my mum's father, who passed away in August. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do, but both he and my family mean too much to me not to have gone home.
I've also managed to add a few more flags to my backpack this year. The first trip after Christmas in Australia was venturing up north to the Baltic states for Easter, for a lesson in all things former Soviet - former KGB listening stations in the spires of churches, and towns closed off to the world for decades while the Soviet military occupied them as military bases. Next was a weekend in Portugal, albeit with a buggered knee as a result of a bike accident, which has since recovered to the point where I can't actually remember which knee it was. The latest was a week in the UK for Squishy's graduation, including a Magical Mystery Tour of Liverpool and a stroll along Penny Lane and a cider in the Cavern Club, a long overdue reunion with Squishy and the Jedi Masters in Newcastle, and a freezing cold few days in Edinburgh with more Australians in the hostel than I've been around in a while, and an encounter with the McKenzie poltergeist in the Covenanters' Prison. Google it to find out what I'm talking about.
The best part of 2009 though? My Freundeskreis - my mates. Some of you I haven't seen days or weeks. With others, it's been months. 2009 has been a mix of seeing old friends again, spending more time with existing friends, and meeting some great new people. Spending hours upon hours cosy in Murrays Irish bar on freezing cold Saturday afternoons in February learning about rugby while watching the Six Nations, drinking Erdbeerbowle and escaping summer thunderstorms at the Karneval der Kulturen, walking on the tarmac of former Tempelhof Airport for the 60th anniversary of the Berliner Luftbrücke in May, taking part in history in the making at the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall at the Brandenburg Gate on a rainy October night, celebrating Thanksgiving (twice, with a third to come in January) with a United Nations of expat friends in November, and now in December, cinnamon toast in Newcastle, and possibly the best Mariannenplatz movie night yet - the movie, the food, the apple cider, but the best part: the people.
And so I'm going to leave you with a slightly plagiarised Christmas lyrical feast.
These are from some of my favourite carols, and put into words what I've been trying to say since I started this post.
"And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young"
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on our troubles will be out of sight
Through the years we all be together, if the fates allow.
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more."
"And so I'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two.
Although it's been said many times, many ways, a very merry Christmas to you."
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Untitled
Despite my best intention of a few weeks ago to get back into blogging with a vengeance, with the goal of one post per week, the best laid plans were yet again derailed.
As some of you know, the last few weeks have been rather rough for yours truly. Why exactly is still a little too raw for my blog - or even for anyone outside my five or six close friends. I might post about it eventually, but at the moment it's too recent. I lost someone close to me back home in Australia - my grandfather - and while I have the clarity of mind to comfort myself with the knowledge that he is in a better place, I'm not quite back to being the usual genuinely bubbly Australis that my friends know me as.
Speaking of my friends, this blog post is for you guys.
After hearing the news, and after having booked the flight back home to Australia to be with my family for his funeral, I set about the task of telling my close friends.
The people who know better than to ask how you are, because the real answer, the answer you don't give to supermarket checkout chicks when they casually ask "Hi, how are you today?" as they're packing up your groceries into green enviro bags at Coles, is obvious to them.
They don't ask because they don't need to ask. They know that you're hurting and that the best possible thing they can do is exactly one thing.
They can just be there for you, in their own unique way.
There's picking you up at 9pm with a six pack of Smirnoffs in the front seat and taking you out to a salsa club so you can both dance your hearts out until the small hours, like you did many times just a few years earlier as uni students.
Or taking you to a soccer game where the three of you celebrate just being together again over a Carlton Draught and a "Four n Twenty".
There's watching deliberately light-hearted DVDs with you on your sofa at the end of a two-week period which saw you cross ten time zones to be with your family in Australia for eleven beyond intense days, culminating in an epic 45hour journey halfway across the world involving two long-haul flights and a nine-hour train journey back home to Europe. And on top of all that, grabbing some of your favourite beers on the way over to your flat.
There's also making work as easy as possible for you by keeping your news from the rest of your colleagues until after you have left, and accepting without question that despite your best efforts, concentration on your job at this point is just as possible as turning back time.
But the best? The best was gently encouraging you to get out into the sunshine of a Sunday in late August and while away the afternoon lying on the warm bricks of Schlossplatz in central Berlin, listening to the Berlin Symphony Orchestra perform a piece which your grandmother later tells you was one of your grandfather's favourites.
I guess the short version of all this is exactly the conclusion I came to in the eulogy I struggled to read at the funeral.
Thank you.
I thanked my grandfather for the twenty-seven years' worth of memories, stories and experiences he left me with.
And I thank you guys for being you guys.
Charlie. La bella amica mia. The fellow members of the Cat Spew Jumper Appreciation Society. Puss in Boots. Capt'n. Thanks. In all four languages. ;)
As some of you know, the last few weeks have been rather rough for yours truly. Why exactly is still a little too raw for my blog - or even for anyone outside my five or six close friends. I might post about it eventually, but at the moment it's too recent. I lost someone close to me back home in Australia - my grandfather - and while I have the clarity of mind to comfort myself with the knowledge that he is in a better place, I'm not quite back to being the usual genuinely bubbly Australis that my friends know me as.
Speaking of my friends, this blog post is for you guys.
After hearing the news, and after having booked the flight back home to Australia to be with my family for his funeral, I set about the task of telling my close friends.
The people who know better than to ask how you are, because the real answer, the answer you don't give to supermarket checkout chicks when they casually ask "Hi, how are you today?" as they're packing up your groceries into green enviro bags at Coles, is obvious to them.
They don't ask because they don't need to ask. They know that you're hurting and that the best possible thing they can do is exactly one thing.
They can just be there for you, in their own unique way.
There's picking you up at 9pm with a six pack of Smirnoffs in the front seat and taking you out to a salsa club so you can both dance your hearts out until the small hours, like you did many times just a few years earlier as uni students.
Or taking you to a soccer game where the three of you celebrate just being together again over a Carlton Draught and a "Four n Twenty".
There's watching deliberately light-hearted DVDs with you on your sofa at the end of a two-week period which saw you cross ten time zones to be with your family in Australia for eleven beyond intense days, culminating in an epic 45hour journey halfway across the world involving two long-haul flights and a nine-hour train journey back home to Europe. And on top of all that, grabbing some of your favourite beers on the way over to your flat.
There's also making work as easy as possible for you by keeping your news from the rest of your colleagues until after you have left, and accepting without question that despite your best efforts, concentration on your job at this point is just as possible as turning back time.
But the best? The best was gently encouraging you to get out into the sunshine of a Sunday in late August and while away the afternoon lying on the warm bricks of Schlossplatz in central Berlin, listening to the Berlin Symphony Orchestra perform a piece which your grandmother later tells you was one of your grandfather's favourites.
I guess the short version of all this is exactly the conclusion I came to in the eulogy I struggled to read at the funeral.
Thank you.
I thanked my grandfather for the twenty-seven years' worth of memories, stories and experiences he left me with.
And I thank you guys for being you guys.
Charlie. La bella amica mia. The fellow members of the Cat Spew Jumper Appreciation Society. Puss in Boots. Capt'n. Thanks. In all four languages. ;)
Australis' patented "Clean Up".
I never thought I would say this, but the therapeutic effect of cleaning one's living space to within an inch of its life should never be underestimated.
The satisfaction of being able to completely control just one aspect of one's life when most of the others bear an amazing resemblance to a horrifically spectacular car crash is very comforting.
For your reference, here are the last ten days in the world of Australis in a nutshell (and yes, I have Austin Powers in my head at the moment):
- a Friday night house party which resulted in me being on the receiving end of a friend's decision to communicate his frustration in an alcohol-fuelled violent display at 5am (not the first time this has happened). Don't worry: I'm fine - no injuries here.
- farewelling a good friend who moved to Turkey for six months on Sunday.
- a phone call home in which I learned that one of my mum's colleagues - also a very good friend of hers - had lost her fight with bone and liver cancer, and that my grandfather had yet again been hospitalised (fourth time for 2009).
- an appointment at the German Immigration Department bright and way too early on Monday to apply for my visa, only to be told to fill out three more forms and bring them in on Thursday, with a copy of my university degrees, at least three references, biometric passport photos, and 10 other documents proving that I do indeed exist and that I am who I say I am. Gotta love the Germans and their bureaucracy. There is most definitely going to be a blog post on German red tape when I get my visa.
- an intense heart-to-heart on Monday evening with the aforementioned friend from the house party about the two violent episodes and where our friendship goes from here.
- a throat infection which resulted in me not being able to speak at all for four days and forcing me to communicate via hand gestures, facial expressions, Skype and a notebook.
- another appointment at the German Immigration Department on Thursday morning in which I handed over half the Amazon rainforest in the form of neatly-filled-out visa and work permit application forms and received the response "it may take up to two months to be processed". Brilliant. Just great.
- as if all that wasn't enough, a browse of the online news revealed that Australia was being ravaged by all manner of natural disasters. What is with that at the moment? Fires, floods, oil slicks, cyclones, earthquakes, landslides as a result of the earthquakes - all that's left is a volcanic eruption... wait, no, even that has also been taken care of! We're only missing the tidal wave for the whole set! Note: Mother Nature, this is not a challenge!!! :)
Given all this happened within the space of a week, on top of a friend visiting from out of town, I was indeed in a state which might best be described as "interesting" by evening of Sunday the 15th of March.
I have various possible plans of action for dealing with such a frazzled state of mind as this.
A good long walk - preferably in a park or along the beach - is usually the first step. Unfortunately it was raining, and I was loath to prolong my throat infection for any longer than absolutely necessary.
Ok, so I scroll down the list to number two. Ooh - one of my favourites! Rock music therapy: create a "Rock Out!" playlist on WinAmp, crank up the volume and sing along to my favourite artists - Jimmy Eat World, Green Day, AC/DC, The Offspring, The Living End and OkGo! among others... Slight problem - no voice. It would also be really inconsiderate of me concering my flatmates, one of whom was still recovering from a serious hangover from the previous night and the other of whom is currently working on a major assessment piece for his university film studies program.
So we come to number three on the list - a sure fire certainty as far as therapy goes. It also involves some serious effort, which ensures I get a decent night's sleep, and there are added benefits in the form of an impeccably clean living space!
#3 on my list of strategies for dealing with Australis in a state which might best be described as "interesting" = The Clean Up. Doesn't sound all that special to you?
Read on.
"The Clean Up" is not just putting stuff back where it belongs though. That I can do any old time. No, "The Clean Up" is the housekeeping equivalent of "The Full Monty".
And this is how it goes.
Step 1 - the basics. Putting stuff back where it belongs, sorting out the junk which had accumulated on my desk/on shelves in front of the stuff that actually belongs there/on my sofa/hanging from the handlebars of my bike/on the area around my loft bed, etc, over an unknown number of days (I'm not quite bad enough to have to add "weeks" to that), and most definitely putting on a load of washing. The small stuff. Lots of small stuff.
Second - the fun part. Here come the big guns. Step #2 = The Vacuum Cleaner.
I love vacuuming. I love the sound. I love the current of warm, clean air. I love doing some actual work to make my space clean and liveable again. I love the smell of a room which has just been vacuumed.
After all that has been achieved, we move on to the final phase.
Step #3 = The Post-Clean Chillax.
The entire effect of the clean living space is then completed by having a long hot shower, lighting a few candles and some Nag Champa incense, opening a window and curling up on the sofabed with a cuppa and a good book, and revelling in the cleanliness and the amazing effects, both internal and external, of Australis' patented "Clean Up", possibly the best ever plan of action for rescuing a weekend (or in my case, a ten-day period) which for all intents and purposes, was quite honestly $!#@.
The satisfaction of being able to completely control just one aspect of one's life when most of the others bear an amazing resemblance to a horrifically spectacular car crash is very comforting.
For your reference, here are the last ten days in the world of Australis in a nutshell (and yes, I have Austin Powers in my head at the moment):
- a Friday night house party which resulted in me being on the receiving end of a friend's decision to communicate his frustration in an alcohol-fuelled violent display at 5am (not the first time this has happened). Don't worry: I'm fine - no injuries here.
- farewelling a good friend who moved to Turkey for six months on Sunday.
- a phone call home in which I learned that one of my mum's colleagues - also a very good friend of hers - had lost her fight with bone and liver cancer, and that my grandfather had yet again been hospitalised (fourth time for 2009).
- an appointment at the German Immigration Department bright and way too early on Monday to apply for my visa, only to be told to fill out three more forms and bring them in on Thursday, with a copy of my university degrees, at least three references, biometric passport photos, and 10 other documents proving that I do indeed exist and that I am who I say I am. Gotta love the Germans and their bureaucracy. There is most definitely going to be a blog post on German red tape when I get my visa.
- an intense heart-to-heart on Monday evening with the aforementioned friend from the house party about the two violent episodes and where our friendship goes from here.
- a throat infection which resulted in me not being able to speak at all for four days and forcing me to communicate via hand gestures, facial expressions, Skype and a notebook.
- another appointment at the German Immigration Department on Thursday morning in which I handed over half the Amazon rainforest in the form of neatly-filled-out visa and work permit application forms and received the response "it may take up to two months to be processed". Brilliant. Just great.
- as if all that wasn't enough, a browse of the online news revealed that Australia was being ravaged by all manner of natural disasters. What is with that at the moment? Fires, floods, oil slicks, cyclones, earthquakes, landslides as a result of the earthquakes - all that's left is a volcanic eruption... wait, no, even that has also been taken care of! We're only missing the tidal wave for the whole set! Note: Mother Nature, this is not a challenge!!! :)
Given all this happened within the space of a week, on top of a friend visiting from out of town, I was indeed in a state which might best be described as "interesting" by evening of Sunday the 15th of March.
I have various possible plans of action for dealing with such a frazzled state of mind as this.
A good long walk - preferably in a park or along the beach - is usually the first step. Unfortunately it was raining, and I was loath to prolong my throat infection for any longer than absolutely necessary.
Ok, so I scroll down the list to number two. Ooh - one of my favourites! Rock music therapy: create a "Rock Out!" playlist on WinAmp, crank up the volume and sing along to my favourite artists - Jimmy Eat World, Green Day, AC/DC, The Offspring, The Living End and OkGo! among others... Slight problem - no voice. It would also be really inconsiderate of me concering my flatmates, one of whom was still recovering from a serious hangover from the previous night and the other of whom is currently working on a major assessment piece for his university film studies program.
So we come to number three on the list - a sure fire certainty as far as therapy goes. It also involves some serious effort, which ensures I get a decent night's sleep, and there are added benefits in the form of an impeccably clean living space!
#3 on my list of strategies for dealing with Australis in a state which might best be described as "interesting" = The Clean Up. Doesn't sound all that special to you?
Read on.
"The Clean Up" is not just putting stuff back where it belongs though. That I can do any old time. No, "The Clean Up" is the housekeeping equivalent of "The Full Monty".
And this is how it goes.
Step 1 - the basics. Putting stuff back where it belongs, sorting out the junk which had accumulated on my desk/on shelves in front of the stuff that actually belongs there/on my sofa/hanging from the handlebars of my bike/on the area around my loft bed, etc, over an unknown number of days (I'm not quite bad enough to have to add "weeks" to that), and most definitely putting on a load of washing. The small stuff. Lots of small stuff.
Second - the fun part. Here come the big guns. Step #2 = The Vacuum Cleaner.
I love vacuuming. I love the sound. I love the current of warm, clean air. I love doing some actual work to make my space clean and liveable again. I love the smell of a room which has just been vacuumed.
After all that has been achieved, we move on to the final phase.
Step #3 = The Post-Clean Chillax.
The entire effect of the clean living space is then completed by having a long hot shower, lighting a few candles and some Nag Champa incense, opening a window and curling up on the sofabed with a cuppa and a good book, and revelling in the cleanliness and the amazing effects, both internal and external, of Australis' patented "Clean Up", possibly the best ever plan of action for rescuing a weekend (or in my case, a ten-day period) which for all intents and purposes, was quite honestly $!#@.
Victoria's bushfire hell.
It's pretty rare that Australia makes the German news. The last time that happened was to announce the death of Heath Ledger in January of 2008, so when it does happen, it gets my attention. It's also very unlikely that the news is good.
I had known that the temperatures in my home state of Victoria and the neighbouring states of New South Wales and South Australia had been scorchingly high of late, with all three states experiencing multiple days of 45ºC and over, temperatures significantly above the normal summer highs of 40ºC, so it was only a matter of time until the first bushfire reports would begin to trickle through. Bushfires are a part of summer in Australia; some years are worse than others, for example Ash Wednesday of 1983, and the horrific Black Friday of 1939, both of which claimed many lives. Usually though, the maximum toll is limited to several hundred hectares of bush, some sheds and livestock, and occasionally some houses which were in the path of the fire. Very rarely are lives lost.
As soon as I heard the words "Australia" and "bushfire" in the Berlin radio news recently though, I knew that this could not be your average bushfire season, especially since the piece had made it all the way up the list to second billing behind the latest developments in the German financial crisis. I kept listening, and what I heard shocked me into silence.
Thirty-one fire fronts across the state. 330,000 hectares burnt out. Entire towns razed to the ground. 750 homes destroyed. 108 people confirmed dead, with this number rising all the time as more towns were reached. Thousands of people homeless. Emergency services working around the clock to bring the infernoes under control.
The worst part? Some of the fires are suspected to have been deliberately lit. The notion that anyone would concieve of lighting a match and setting it to the tinderbox that south-eastern Australia had become during the heatwave of the previous two weeks is nothing short of horrifically sickening. In one fell swoop, one or two individuals had created the worst bushfires in Australian history. Lives of innocent people have been extinguished, homes have been destroyed, communities decimated, and countless volunteers have, without a second thought, put their own lives at risk to fight bushfires which need never have been fought.
I know there's nothing I could do even if I was at home. But being this far away is torture - hearing via online reports and Berlin radio news updates that my home state is an deadly inferno is very difficult to handle. The fact that, as far as I know, my family and friends are very fortunately all safe, reassures me. But just because I don't know the hundreds of families who have been affected doesn't mean I'm not thinking of them, or that I'm any less upset.
This post was partly inspired by the ever-eloquent MD; therefore, I conclude with a brief quote from my favourite Inspector Rex fan.
"Love those around you. Hold them tight, tell them that you love them and never, ever let them forget it. ... Like most Victorians, I have friends affected by this - and some we're yet to hear from. If you've any prayers going spare, we could use them. ... So tonight, do me a favour. Hug someone you love. Tell them you love them. If not for you, then for all those who can't."
And my request to you? Pray for rain and a cool change, and an end to the inferno. Then tell your family and friends how much they mean to you, because there are 108 people who will never get the chance again.
I had known that the temperatures in my home state of Victoria and the neighbouring states of New South Wales and South Australia had been scorchingly high of late, with all three states experiencing multiple days of 45ºC and over, temperatures significantly above the normal summer highs of 40ºC, so it was only a matter of time until the first bushfire reports would begin to trickle through. Bushfires are a part of summer in Australia; some years are worse than others, for example Ash Wednesday of 1983, and the horrific Black Friday of 1939, both of which claimed many lives. Usually though, the maximum toll is limited to several hundred hectares of bush, some sheds and livestock, and occasionally some houses which were in the path of the fire. Very rarely are lives lost.
As soon as I heard the words "Australia" and "bushfire" in the Berlin radio news recently though, I knew that this could not be your average bushfire season, especially since the piece had made it all the way up the list to second billing behind the latest developments in the German financial crisis. I kept listening, and what I heard shocked me into silence.
Thirty-one fire fronts across the state. 330,000 hectares burnt out. Entire towns razed to the ground. 750 homes destroyed. 108 people confirmed dead, with this number rising all the time as more towns were reached. Thousands of people homeless. Emergency services working around the clock to bring the infernoes under control.
The worst part? Some of the fires are suspected to have been deliberately lit. The notion that anyone would concieve of lighting a match and setting it to the tinderbox that south-eastern Australia had become during the heatwave of the previous two weeks is nothing short of horrifically sickening. In one fell swoop, one or two individuals had created the worst bushfires in Australian history. Lives of innocent people have been extinguished, homes have been destroyed, communities decimated, and countless volunteers have, without a second thought, put their own lives at risk to fight bushfires which need never have been fought.
I know there's nothing I could do even if I was at home. But being this far away is torture - hearing via online reports and Berlin radio news updates that my home state is an deadly inferno is very difficult to handle. The fact that, as far as I know, my family and friends are very fortunately all safe, reassures me. But just because I don't know the hundreds of families who have been affected doesn't mean I'm not thinking of them, or that I'm any less upset.
This post was partly inspired by the ever-eloquent MD; therefore, I conclude with a brief quote from my favourite Inspector Rex fan.
"Love those around you. Hold them tight, tell them that you love them and never, ever let them forget it. ... Like most Victorians, I have friends affected by this - and some we're yet to hear from. If you've any prayers going spare, we could use them. ... So tonight, do me a favour. Hug someone you love. Tell them you love them. If not for you, then for all those who can't."
And my request to you? Pray for rain and a cool change, and an end to the inferno. Then tell your family and friends how much they mean to you, because there are 108 people who will never get the chance again.
Reflections on the year
It’s amazing how a few months can completely change you.
Take today. Got home from work, and for some reason decided the mountain of papers I had dumped on the black wooden TV table I had inherited from a previous resident of my share flat could no longer remain there. So over pasta and Lidl’s attempt at bolognese sauce, I got comfy on my new Ikea discount sofa, and I began to sort them.
There was all kinds of stuff in there – photos of my family and my friends, postcards from Turkey, Morocco, most of eastern Europe and many other places, brief pages of scribbled dot-point notes which had since turned into lesson plans for my jungle-like year 9 classes, CDs people burnt for me, official-looking letters from German companies calling me “Frau _____ ” (or, more often that not, “Herr ____ ”: I don’t get it – my first name is not exactly uncommon in Germany) and handwritten ones from both of my grandmothers in Australia (the latter being a much more welcome sight in my letterbox than the former)… and a stack of notebook pages covered with scribbled diary entries from the last year.
It’s been just on a year since I moved here. Never been away from Australia that long before. And it’s going to get up to 18 months before I get back home. And in the last year, a whole lot has gone down – old friends, heaps and heaps of new friends, new accommodation times three, getting used to calling one of the most vibrant and lively cities in the world my home, and a hell of a lot of travelling.
I guess my point is just how much I love the way travel changes you. How much you learn about your world and about yourself. And it doesn't matter if you’re backpacking through former Soviet states or remote villages of northern Africa, or living and working in a vibrant European capital. Main thing is being away from what you’re used to, and becoming completely self-reliant – knowing that your family isn’t just around the corner. Actually, that home, family and most of your friends are just about as far away as physically possible while remaining on this planet.
You’re on your own – flying free, and without a safety net, and while it can be really scary at first, the feeling discovering you have what it takes to make a life for yourself overseas, and to make it work, is its own reward.
The Winds Of Change
The winds of change are in the air. Still in Hamburg, and still plodding along at work, but two events have taken place, which resulted in an admission of error and a decision to make a change to fix that error.
Event number 1 - a weekend sailing on the Baltic with some of my Berlin friends. Possibly the best way to chill and clear your head in northern Germany - or anywhere, for that matter. Sea air, good friends, German beer, northern German dice games at 1am, some good conversation, and a few days away from Hamburg and work - ah, bliss. Also inspiration from Harold and Maude to not worry so much about what other people think of you.
Event number 2 - one of these friends told me something that I had actually known subconsciously for a long time: I think too much. I over-analyse things. And not just the life-changing, monumental issues - the tiny stuff, that in a matter of weeks, days, or in many instances, hours, will have been long relegated to the file "Not worth remembering".
This leads me to a question: am I alone here? How many of you actually nodded in sympathetic agreement whilst reading the above admission? Changing my FB status alone to reflect this new mindset of "less thinking, more doing" resulted in a wall post and an instant message within half an hour. I welcome your comments.
Event 1 + Event 2 = Result: I am moving back to Berlin. Soon - within a fortnight. Reasons vary: work, friends & (substitute) family, and instinct/gut feeling/mindset.
First, the job is not at all what I thought it would be. I'm not someone who enjoys working completely alone. I need to have people around me both at work and in general with a similarly positive and enthusiastic outlook, for mutual motivation and support. I am also someone with ambition and direction. I need to know that both myself and the company I work for are going somewhere, that what I do at work actually has a purpose in the grand scheme of things. Hamburg doesn't fit the bill for me at the moment.
Second, my friends and one of my German families are in Berlin, and I truly miss them. Fair enough, I've only been in Hamburg for three weeks, which is definitely not enough to create a friendship group here, but I already have a circle of friends in Berlin, which is enough of a reason for me to seriously consider going back.
Third - I'm in a Berlin state of mind, to quote Mr Joel. I'm not finished with that city, and I want to maximise my time there. It's an incredible city and I feel just as much at home there as I do in my native Melbourne. Sounds strange to most of you, but I know at least Blonde Canadian knows how I feel. I need to go back there.
So, it will be "Goodbye Hamburg - nice knowing you", and a reunion with my beloved Berlin next weekend. That prospect alone is already giving me the motivation to continue through this week.
I'll keep you posted.
Event number 1 - a weekend sailing on the Baltic with some of my Berlin friends. Possibly the best way to chill and clear your head in northern Germany - or anywhere, for that matter. Sea air, good friends, German beer, northern German dice games at 1am, some good conversation, and a few days away from Hamburg and work - ah, bliss. Also inspiration from Harold and Maude to not worry so much about what other people think of you.
Event number 2 - one of these friends told me something that I had actually known subconsciously for a long time: I think too much. I over-analyse things. And not just the life-changing, monumental issues - the tiny stuff, that in a matter of weeks, days, or in many instances, hours, will have been long relegated to the file "Not worth remembering".
This leads me to a question: am I alone here? How many of you actually nodded in sympathetic agreement whilst reading the above admission? Changing my FB status alone to reflect this new mindset of "less thinking, more doing" resulted in a wall post and an instant message within half an hour. I welcome your comments.
Event 1 + Event 2 = Result: I am moving back to Berlin. Soon - within a fortnight. Reasons vary: work, friends & (substitute) family, and instinct/gut feeling/mindset.
First, the job is not at all what I thought it would be. I'm not someone who enjoys working completely alone. I need to have people around me both at work and in general with a similarly positive and enthusiastic outlook, for mutual motivation and support. I am also someone with ambition and direction. I need to know that both myself and the company I work for are going somewhere, that what I do at work actually has a purpose in the grand scheme of things. Hamburg doesn't fit the bill for me at the moment.
Second, my friends and one of my German families are in Berlin, and I truly miss them. Fair enough, I've only been in Hamburg for three weeks, which is definitely not enough to create a friendship group here, but I already have a circle of friends in Berlin, which is enough of a reason for me to seriously consider going back.
Third - I'm in a Berlin state of mind, to quote Mr Joel. I'm not finished with that city, and I want to maximise my time there. It's an incredible city and I feel just as much at home there as I do in my native Melbourne. Sounds strange to most of you, but I know at least Blonde Canadian knows how I feel. I need to go back there.
So, it will be "Goodbye Hamburg - nice knowing you", and a reunion with my beloved Berlin next weekend. That prospect alone is already giving me the motivation to continue through this week.
I'll keep you posted.
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